Yoni massage is a ‘thing’. And rightly so. It’s a revolutionary practice embracing all aspects of the self: the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and sexual. It’s helping women come to a place of wholeness, honor and getting to know themselves on a profoundly deep level.
A yoni healing massage is an ancient tantric sex treatment of a woman’s most intimate and mysterious region, her vagina. Tantra celebrates the vagina as a revered part of the body, worthy of respect and honor. And it is this philosophy that sets the foundation for yoni massage therapy.
The word “yoni” is derived from Sanskrit and refers to the vagina and the entire female genitalia. It translates loosely to “sacred portal” and “source of all life”.
We’ve lost the connection.
With the challenges that body imaging brings, lack of sex education, toxic porn, the perfectly Photoshopped vulva and objectification of women, many of us struggle to understand our sexuality.
This is where yoni healing massage therapy is revolutionary. It helps to empower and educate women to find their journey back to their divine femininity and to that sacred portal – their yoni.
The vagina is, indeed, a sacred portal. It is, after all, where human life is birthed. Yet, how many of us truly celebrate and revere our vaginas? Not many.
So what exactly is a yoni massage?
Much like a full body massage invokes a release of tension, the yoni massage does the same. Yonis undergoing regular massages are more receptive, sensitive and expressive. It can be an activity all on its own, or part of foreplay in your sexual repertoire.
Contrary to popular belief, a yoni massage is not about a happy ending. While it can lead to a climax, it is about something much grander than the orgasm.
It is a deeply powerful and transformational experience helping women abolish feelings of guilt and pain they may have around their sexuality. The essence of it is far less tangible and far more abstract and transcendental than that of a mere orgasm.
What are the benefits?
Women gain embodied wisdom about the self and female sexuality through yoni massage.
Whilst men get to know the ins and outs of their private parts early on, women’s erogenous zones are mostly hidden. Women are hardly encouraged to explore the inside of their vaginas. It is only recently that the world has come to acknowledge the presence of the clitoris.
A study that was conducted by Andrea Virginia Burri, famous Swiss psychologist, showed that whilst most women believe there is a G-spot, only a total of 56% reported having one. (1.)
2. Physical and emotional release.
Yoni massages are proven to release tension and built-up emotions that women store in their pelvic area, often without even being aware. Naturally, victims of crime carry great humiliation in their reproductive area and require mental healing.
However, it isn’t merely traumatised women who hold emotional baggage in their nether region. Alarmingly, high rates of women have negative perceptions of their genitalia due to female sexuality being considered as shameful and taboo.
3. More intense orgasms.
Yoni massage is also helpful for women who have never experienced an orgasm or women who achieve one and feel like they are finished. Why settle for one when you can have many?
By learning more about yourself, you will become a better communicator and, therefore, a better lover.
Who should have a yoni massage?
- Anyone who wants to get to know their pleasure centres better;
- Women who experience painful and uncomfortable sex;
- Trauma survivors;
- Women looking to support their pelvic organ health and alignment;
- Women with scar tissue in the region (post-birth);
- Anyone transitioning into a particular life phase (break-up, menopause, post-miscarriage); and
- Women wishing to experience an orgasm/multiple-orgasms.
Exactly how do we start?
Yoni massages can be experienced at the hands of a professional. If you are more comfortable with a female practitioner, you can always request it when booking your appointment. Alternatively, if you’re more comfortable doing it with someone you know, you can always learn the life-long skill yourself or ask your partner to do so.
Tip #1: Ambience is everything.
Think of this as taking your vagina out on a romantic date. Set the scene with some mood lighting, relaxing music, your favourite massage oil and aromatherapy. Taking a warm bath filled beforehand is always a lovely way to get your mind and body completely relaxed and receptive.
Tip #2: Set your intention.
To open your vagina, you must first open your mind and your heart. This means letting go of any preconceived ideas you may have about female sexuality, masturbation or how strange this whole thing may feel. Become present to whatever arises during your experience without labelling it as “good” or “bad”.
Park all the negative judgements, and ask yourself what you wish to get out of the experience. This is a spiritual practice, so your intention and mind come into play as much as your body. To have a magical yoni experience, you need to seek something beyond the physical.
It could be something like opening your heart centre or attracting a lover. It’s your practice; you choose what empowers you.
Tip #3: Get comfortable
You may prefer to do this lying down or standing in front of a mirror for added sensuality. If you’re lying down, lie on your back with your knees bent and a pillow under your hips.
Connect with your breath
Breath work is pivotal in tantric sex and is the foundation for a magical yoni massage. For your body to become responsive, you must get your breath-work right.
It is the breath that directs sexual energy to move all around the body and beyond the sex organs – we don’t want it building up in your clitoris now, do we?
Breath-work is fairly straightforward. You do it by becoming aware of your inhalation and your exhalation. Tune into the way the inhale expands your body and lifts your abdomen, creating space within.
Then tune into the way the exhalation softens your body and drops your tummy and chest, creating stillness.
We’re going to use the Bliss Breath or Ujjayi Breath for the yoni healing. Constrict the back of your throat so when you inhale you hear a soft whisper-like sound coming from your throat.
Exhale in the same way, releasing the breath by making the sound of a constricted throat. Continue breathing in this manner, slowly and deeply, throughout the entire practice.
Let the fun begin.
With your good quality, vagina safe, oil starts to massage your entire body. Touch yourself as a lover would. Experiment with various types of touches – soft, hard, squeeze, scratch. Observe what feels good for you and what doesn’t.
The heart centre, that is the breasts, is your starting point. This is where you unlock the door to your sexual energy. Circle and activate your breasts, and don’t forget to play with your nipples.
Once you’ve warmed the body up, it’s time to move down to your abdomen and thigh region. Focus on palpating your hips and the underside of your tailbone to loosen up the pelvis area.
When your body is ready, slowly make your way down to your yoni. Explore the various styles of touching on your labia, clitoris, perineum (area between the vagina and anus). The goal here is to become relaxed and slowly build up arousal.
Once your yoni is stimulated enough, it will open up and be ready to receive you. This is your invitation to go in gently and discover the enigmatic landscape that lies within. Don’t forget – this is still about mindful masturbation rather than over-stimulating the region.
If you find areas that feel numb or sensitive, hold your fingers there and put slight pressure on the area. Contract your entire groin area (PC muscles), hold your breath for a moment, then release the pressure and your breath.
Don’t be surprised if emotions arise; this is a part of the process of letting go and becoming fully self-expressed. The point is to bring some release to your connective tissue such as the fascia and myofascial tissue.
What do the professionals have to say?
More and more gynaecologists are getting on board the yoni massage train. Mary Jane Minkin, MD, Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the Yale School of Medicine, recommends it to patients with vaginal dryness.
“Logically, anything that increases blood flow to the pelvis increases sensitivity, arousal, and lubrication, which could help with orgasms,” says Minkin.
What to avoid?
If you are getting a professional yoni massage, ensure the clinic is clean and reputable. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, it’s entirely appropriate to end the session.
If you’re doing the yoni massage at home, obviously take care that you don’t scratch yourself if you have long nails. Always wash your hands before you start the ritual, Steam is not suggested as the area holds some of the most delicate tissue in your body, and the risk of burning can be quite high.
Why not get your partner involved in the yoni massage?
Yoni massage can be a powerful bonding experience. Discuss consent before you begin and make sure the person giving the massage does their homework beforehand. You should also consider yoni wands as an alternative if you don’t have a partner.
Yoni Massage techniques.
- Cup your vagina.
Place your hand in a cup-like shape, as if you are holding an invisible ball in the middle of your palm. Position your hand over the vagina, ensuring you are covering the labia and clitoris. Your fingers will be pointing downward, reaching past the opening of the vagina.
- Start to circulate.
Very slowly and gently move your hand in a circular motion. There should be a small void between the vagina and your palm. Try circling clockwise, then counterclockwise. Experiment a little and see what feels right for you.
- Connect with the vagina.
Start to flatten your hand against the vaginal opening. Many women report feeling some surge of energy here, as if all that built-up energy which was in the cusp of their hand becomes flattened and goes in to the vagina.
- Now it’s time for the massage.
This is where you go free-form. Massage the entire region with your palm. Alternate between soft and hard pressure, fast and slow.
- Use your fingers.
With the tip of your index or middle finger, circle the clitoris in a clockwise and counterclockwise manner. Be sure to start at the very top of the clitoris and make your way slowly down whilst doing the circling motions. Try it with one finger, then try it with two.
Think of this as a self-exploration exercise where you are investigating the terrain that is your vagina. Alternate between small and large circles. Don’t be afraid to play with your entire erogenous area including labial folds and the vaginal opening.
- It’s all about pressure.
Depending on the day and our mood, sometimes soft pressure will do the trick and other times hard. It’s often a good idea to start with soft and build up to a stronger touch.
Pushing and pulling.
- The clitoris likes it, trust us.
Gently push down on the clitoris with your fingers. First try what it feels like with one, then with two and so on. Make pulsing movements with your hand.
- Drag it down.
Drag your fingers downward, going all the way down the shaft of your clitoris, all the while pressing down. Start of gently, as this may not be everyone’s cup of tea. The clitoris is highly sensitive in most women, and some prefer a strong dragging of the clitoris, whilst others prefer more of a pushing down motion.
- Repeat on both sides of clitoral shaft.
Whilst it’s a small area, the nerve endings are all over the clitoris and you really want to pay attention to both sides and well as the centre.
- Grasp it.
You may prefer to use your thumb and index finger or perhaps you have your own way. Whichever way you choose to do so, ensure that you are gently grasping the clitoris.
- Pull it.
Slowly pull the clitoris away from the body, then release. Don’t be shy to try pulling it in various directions – towards the ceiling, to the left, to the right, towards your bellybutton. This is your body – get to know it.
- Don’t forget the lips.
Move to the vaginal lips and slowly pull them away from the body, then release. Try holding them for a few seconds and see how different it feels.
- Venture out to the entire region.
Experiment such gentle tugging with different areas of the vagina. Alternate between holding for a few moments longer.
- Hold the clitoris.
Using your thumb and index finger, or whichever fingers you prefer, take hold of the clitoris. Make sure it’s in between whichever two fingers you are choosing to use.
- Rub it.
Slowly and gently rub the clitoris between your fingers. If you can handle this sensation, go a little stronger or go a little faster.
- Back to the clitoris.
Place your fingers on top of your clitoris. First try this method with just one finger (middle finger usually works the best) then make your way up to two, then three, then four.
- Start tapping.
Using your fingers, taps the clitoris in varying rhythms, alternating from slow to fast. Experiment by tapping the various regions of the clitoris – starting at the top and tapping all the way down and to the sides.
Once you have progressed you’re ready for the G-spot.
- To locate the G-spot, curve your fingers to form the letter C.
- Slide your fingers into the vagina. Feel for a slightly ridged area at the top of the vaginal canal (located approximately an inch or two inward).
- Massage the area with a come hither motion. Vary between slow and fast strokes.
Ensure to mix up the techniques. For an even deeper massage, find your A-spot which is further back towards the anus. You may also wish to massage the cervix, which is the deepest point.
Always listen to your body throughout the practice and be gentle as the whole area is delicate. Toys like rose quartz crystal dildo can be used as an addition to a massage therapy
What’s edging all about?
The goal of edging is to repeatedly reach the edge of orgasm and then retreat just before the climax ensues. When the body is about to reach its release, pull away and slow it right down.
Once you’ve settled, build up the arousal once more, creating a divine brewing of orgasmic energy. The longer the back and forth, the more intense and pleasurable the experience will be.
Enjoy the afterglow of yoni therapy.
Once your yoni massage has come to its completion, place your left hand on your heart and your right hand over your yoni and take a moment to soak it all in.
A lot can come up during a yoni massage, so a meditation or journaling exercise is a good way to bring coherence to your experience.
In your yoni massage ritual, you will witness your growth. You will deepen your heart connection with your body and mind, and you will, undoubtedly, become more empowered.
Channelling into this higher energy is a gift bestowed upon women. It is our birthright. It is time to reclaim our sacredness and become the goddesses we were meant to be.